Leaving Chennai

In the film ‘Life in a Metro’ one of the character says “Sheher hame kitna deti hai, utna leti bhi hai” (The city gives us plenty and takes from us likewise), I find that to be very true. My stay in Chennai was bitter-sweet. I had a lot of opportunities and experiences but missed out on nature, relationships and God in the fast paced life of a city.

Now I live in Thanjavur, a relatively small town. I wake up to the beauty of nature around, at night I see so many constellations of stars, I also happened to see a shooting star for the first time in my life here. The roads are mostly empty and I can cross them with leisure. I travel by train daily to Trichy where I study M.A. English and on the way I see so many birds (wish I knew how to identify them) meet many folk on the train and share a conversation or two. Without the blaring sound of horns and the noise of crowds I’m able to find myself at peace with just me and my God. Now I realize that cities are a great place to hide and get lost in a crowd and feel ‘busy’, but if you want to know yourself go to a quiet place and have a meeting with yourself you’ll be surprised at what you find.

The Idiot

(Disclaimer: This is not a book review. Just some of my thoughts after reading it)

Recently I read a book, it was a 1913 English translation of a Russian novel written in 1868 and to surprise I found it very relevant and true of the experiences I’ve had. The book is ‘The Idiot’ by Fyodor Dostoevsky (Constance Garnett translation).

I have to admit it was a hard read, as I was (and still am) totally unaware of the culture, traditions and the social landscape of Russia during those days. What shone through the heavy dialogues and lengthy monologues and detailed scene descriptions was the characters; raw, vulnerable and flawed just as any character you would meet in the street. I’ve never been fascinated more with fictional characters and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the characters I met in the book. One of the brilliant aspects I’ve found in ‘The Idiot’ is that Dostoevsky never judges his characters.

I read some one describing the works of Dostoevsky as a window into the chaos of the human soul and that’s true of this novel too. The thoughts of Myshkin when he is about to have an epilepsy attack are described in an unflinching manner. There are a few passages on religion, capital punishment, children and more which I absolutely loved. When you complete the book you feel as if you’ve caught a glimpse into the Human psyche.

Looking forward to read Crime and Punishment


In church, looking after kids is my job probably my favorite part. My special ability is that i can make any crying child stop. I distract them, make faces, trick them, before the preacher gives a righteous glare.

So I was looking after my cousin (2yrs old), and after a few minutes of scribbling on her hand, my hand, her skirt and all over my bible, she got restless and wanted to go to the back of the church where her mom was. And so here’s how our conversation went.

Me : Esther, Please sit down… Church will get over in few minutes, if you stay here I have a SURPRISE for you!

(This is when you widen your eyes)

 She thinks for a couple of seconds

 Esther : a ‘Chocolate’ surprise????



She wanted to know what it was in advance and still wanted a surprise!

‘Conversational’ Movies

I just completed the ‘before sunrise’ trilogy, and it is the best trilogy in my opinion.

Off late I have been thinking about why I love some movies and why some scenes linger with me for a long time. And I have come to the conclusion that I love ‘Conversations’ in movies. And by that I don’t mean talking or dialogue between the characters, but those long ‘talking’ sessions revealing their character or even mindless banter will do. But I do hate it when characters speak two lines to each other and start making out.

Here’s why I love these movies

I personally love conversations in real life, that was the highlight of my college life when couple of my buddies used to talk for hours on end on life, god, love, anything that fascinated our amateur minds. Sometimes we discussed on really deep things. But about that in another blog.

So I’ve figured out that it’s no wonder that I love ‘conversational’ films (Is that a thing?)
For me that’s the only way of connecting with people. And also films like these can offer a third perspective, because I talk with someone, I talk with my Ideas, and I try to perceive the other person.
But in a Film when I watch the conversation I am able to see as an outsider the two view points of people and that allows me to retrospect my own assumptions and lines of thought that I use while conversing.

And also I think that long conversations are the hardest for actors to pull of. The long scene in before sunset when Celine and Jesse talk while walking on the streets almost gave me goosebumps. Those are the scenes I absolutely love. As well as the long winding car scene in ‘Copie Conforma’ when both the protagonists talk while driving slowly revealing the status of their relationship and past. ‘Before Midnight’ has a similar car scene which goes on for 11 min and it is absolutely brilliant as well.

I can go on forever about these kinda movies, but I’ll stop now. Let me know if there are other movies that I should watch.



The sky swallowed a swoop of time,
Making him sweat and smell
Like a fish on dry land.
Drops of lime on the marked stone
awakened his breath,
then slowly faded away
“Isn’t past over”, mused he
Careful not to step on the slime.
Answered none as he went in two ways,
at once.
The end was getting closer,
He could smell the sun.
Resurrected, he began to run.
The road disappeared at a pond.
It was murky.